I need to tell you something that happened today.

Not because I have it figured out. Because I'm still shaking.

I was in church this morning when a young man—mid-20s, clean cut, the kind your grandmother would call "a nice boy"—stood up to testify.

He talked about God's goodness. His faithfulness. How Jesus had been so real to him this year.

Everyone nodded. A few quiet amens. Normal Sunday.

Three hours later I saw him at the mall.

Minion PJ's.

Acting a complete fool with his friends. Loud. Obnoxious. Making a spectacle.

I wanted to throw up.

It's not the costume.

It's the seamlessness.

The ease of the transition. The complete absence of weight.

Morning: "God is so good."
Afternoon: "Watch me act like an idiot at the mall."

Zero shift. Zero cost. Zero sense that what you just did in that building should alter how you move through the world for at least 72 hours.

And I realized: This is what's killing us.

Not atheism. Not the culture. Not even the persecution that's coming.

Judas Christianity.

The kind that knows all the right words. Says them in all the right places. Then goes back to business as usual the moment the building empties.

I wrote about 47 people who understood faith actually costs something. You need to read this.

Then I got the text.

An 18-year-old kid—just graduated high school—stepped in front of a train this morning.

His whole life ahead of him.

He chose the train.

And here's what's gutting me: I know why.

Because the Christianity he grew up watching couldn't hold the weight of one bad year.

When your God is safe, He's not strong enough to bear real pain.

When your faith costs nothing, it holds nothing.

When the church is entertainment, it can't answer the question:

"Why shouldn't I step in front of the train?"

And we act surprised when they're leaving.

Jesus cursed a fig tree once.

Not because it was evil. Because it was fake.

Leaves but no fruit. Performance but no substance.

"This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me." — Matthew 15:8

He wasn't talking about atheists.

He was talking about religious people.

People who showed up. Said the words. Performed the rituals. Had zero fear of the God they claimed to serve.

Judas sat at the table for three years. Heard every sermon. Saw every miracle. Called Him "Master."

Then sold Him for 30 pieces of silver and kissed Him in the garden.

That's us right now.

That's the church.

And kids are stepping in front of trains because we taught them performance was enough.

I know what you're feeling.

You're not triggered by the costume or the fool or even the seamlessness.

You're grieving.

Because you see it now. The thing that's been gnawing at you for years finally has a name:

Judas Christianity.

The kind that:

Calls Jesus "Lord" but never obeys
Talks about the cross but never bleeds
Claims transformation but never changes
Testifies on Sunday and acts the fool on Monday

And it's killing more kids than the train tracks ever will.

Here's what I'm doing about it.

I'm writing. Every day. About the people who understood that faith costs something.

Not the celebrity pastors. Not the mega-church success stories.

The martyrs. The forgotten disciples. The biblical rebels your pastor skips because they're "too hard."

People who bled.

Blood and Bandwidth documents 47 of them—modern martyrs (2000-2025) who chose death over compromise.

Because I'm convinced: The only thing that stops the train is faith with teeth.

The kind that fears God enough to believe He's strong enough to hold your pain.

The kind that makes testimony on Sunday impossible to reconcile with foolishness on Monday without first bleeding through the transition.

If you're serious about this—if you're done with Judas Christianity and ready for the real cost—I built something for you.

The Biblical Man Vault.

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🩸 Blood and Bandwidth (47 modern martyrs)
⚔️ The Forgotten Disciples (Thaddeus, James the Less, Simon—unmarked graves, maximum sacrifice)
👑 Esther (chose violence over safety: "If I perish, I perish")
💪 What Are You Really Hungry For? (The 7 counterfeit hungers Solomon exposed)
📖 30 Biblical Rebels (The "problematic" heroes churches won't preach)
📚 Every future guide I write
✉️ Free annual Substack subscription

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Not inspiration. Preparation.

Because the train is coming. And Judas Christianity won't stop it.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.

Not respect. Not appreciation. Not "Jesus is my buddy."

Fear.

The kind that makes you tremble when you say His name.

The kind that reshapes how you move through a mall three hours after you testified.

We don't have that anymore.

And it's killing us.

You're not overreacting.

You're seeing clearly.

And now you have to decide: Are you going to keep playing church, or are you going to bleed?

—TBM

P.S. — That kid in front of the train? Pray for his family. Then fight for the next kid who's thinking about it. Because the only thing that stops the train is faith that actually costs something.

P.P.S. — Judas knew all the right words. He sat at the table. Heard the sermons. Called Jesus "Master." Then he went back to his real priorities and sold Him for pocket change. If testifying on Sunday doesn't alter how you exist on Monday, you're not a disciple. You're a performance artist. And the world can tell.

Code TBM30 expires soon. Get the Vault here.

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He had everything. Still felt like a fraud.

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